And the winner is...

Barbecue tofu with slaw!

1 package extra-firm tofu
barbecue sauce (homemade is best!)

1/4 c clean dry parsley
little hunk of onion (1/8 large)
1/2 c mayonnaise (ish)
4 Tbsp. red wine vinegar
Salt and pepper
1 large carrot
1/2 head cabbage, cored and cut into wedges

1 Tbsp olive oil
the rest of that onion
4 slices whole wheat bread

Drain the tofu and wrap it in a couple layers of clean kitchen towel. Press gently to extract some of the moisture without smushing the block. Slice into 1/2" planks, rub all over with barbecue sauce, and place in an airtight container to marinate for 30 minutes or longer - in the fridge if it's going to be more than two hours.

Meanwhile, make the slaw. Put the parsley in your Bertha and run for 3 seconds. Add the wee hunk of onion and pulse a few times, then put in the mayo, vinegar, and a fair amount of salt and pepper. Run 5 seconds or so to combine and make sure all the parsley and onion are pulverized. Remove the metal blade, attach the grating blade and grate in the carrot. Replace with the slicing blade and slice in the cabbage. Dump the lot into a big bowl, mix it around, cover and set aside someplace cool. Resist the urge to add more liquid; the cabbage will contribute more as it rests.

When you're ready to roll, about twenty minutes before dinner time, preheat the broiler and slice the rest of that onion. Heat the oil in a heavy skillet and add the onion slices; saute over medium heat until very soft and sweet.

Arrange the marinated tofu on a broiler pan and broil, about 3 inches from the heat source, until the top is dry and browning up. Flip the slices and repeat - this process should take 10-15 minutes, depending on the broiler.

Toast the bread, squirt on some more BBQ sauce, and add a couple slices tofu and a big scoop of coleslaw. Eat, preferably outdoors, dreaming of cool breezes on a South Carolina spring night.