Two nightmares really, but I wanted you to keep reading.
#1 woke me up in the middle of the night. It was one of those really vivid, detailed dreams that comes out of nowhere: I was working in an office where everyone logs onto the computers via jump drive. I had to borrow three of them from other workers so I could get them rights to a project or something, and while I had them our office was attacked by terrorists. Who wanted the jump drives and stole them out of my pocket while I was distracted by the terrorism. (I know).
So I decided to tell the people whose identities were on those drives, and one of them freaked out and started screaming in my face and her eyes were all pupil and she tried to strangle me and throw us both out a window. Jeezus. I woke up with my heart racing, freaking out, and then realized that it was two a.m. and went back to sleep, only to face this nightmare:
I was a member of George W. Bush's personal staff.
It was true in the dream though. I really like being on a person's staff: a campaign, or, I imagine, a politician's office in D.C., or working for the head of an organization I support. I like traveling, event management, and managing the head honcho at public gatherings. That's for people I SUPPORT and LIKE, not certain torture-approving, women's-health-denigrating ex-Presidents.
But there you have it. I was on his staff and we were closing up shop before heading back to Texas, and the NSA had decided he could have a Blackberry like President Obama's. But of course Bush couldn't work it, so they gave it to me to learn its functions and input the staff's contact information. They'd already uploaded and bookmarked a couple things they knew the ex-President couldn't live without:
I Can Has Cheezburger and I Has a Hotdog.
Y'all, I woke up laughing. Literally: I managed to crack myself up while unconscious.