Obaasan(s)

Remember back in October, how I helped my neighbor out with some Halloween parties? Of course you don't; I didn't tell you. But my Chikako teaches English out of her home, and I helped out at the Halloween and now Christmas parties. It's a ton of fun, if a little exhausting, and the kids are adorable. But she also teaches an adult class full of Japanese grandmamas, working on their English. For that class we cooked Korean food - it was so much fun!

Chikako is on the far left - she is obviously too young to be a grandmother! The food was amazing.

This week brought Christmas parties for all the same classes, and I attended again. It was great - we read Christmas books, sang a carol, and played Twister and an ornament game. What a blast! Then on Friday I was invited to join the adult class for lunch out. Hoo, nonny - they know crab in Japan.Crab claw sashimi. Then tempura. And a big box of crabby treats. And last but not least, green tea and vanilla ice cream.
The ladies are so kind, and they are very patient with my lack of Japanese language skills. They had practiced some English questions to ask me, and were shocked to hear that until recently, I had cooked rice in a POT on the STOVE?!! Apparently, rice cookers are what separate us from the animals, haha. Here's the whole group:Great crew, huh? The gifts that some people are holding up came from Chikako; I got a beautiful handbag. And she paid for my lunch, too - I'll help out at any parties she wants.

Oh, and P.S.? You know that thing where you rub your disposable chopsticks together before eating, to get the splinters off? Yeah, turns out that is incredibly rude because it implies that, well, there are splinters in the chopsticks. I got chastised.

Also obaasan means grandmother, just in case you forgot how to work Google.

On my way! Swear!

Wow, y'all, I have been a bad blogger recently. I'm happy to say that it is because I've actually been doing stuff - volunteering at the animal shelter on base, helping my neighbor out with Christmas parties next door, obsessively emailing Josh about whether any Christmas gifts have arrived...good times! I've got about a dozen posts in the works about our environmental DO's, my lunch with ten Japanese grandmamas today, and what's going on in my kitchen. Hang tight and have another eggnog, I'll be with you shortly.

Merry Christmas, movie house.

Overheard in the office

Not my office, of course; I don't have one.

Guy #1: Take a bow! ...that's what she said.
Me: You know, dude, I'm just not with you on that "that's what she said." (pause) You could do so much better.
Guy #2: That's what she said!

EPIC WIN GUY #2

Processing

That's what I'm up to, Internet: processing. You?

Two nights ago when I received Bertha (yep, I've named her, and she'll eat anything, so she's Bertha) I sliced three potatoes into fries in less than five minutes. While those baked with a little chili powder and olive oil, I whipped up some garlic aioli. The first batch didn't emulsify because of a bad recipe, and can I just say that anyone who thinks you can make mayo with one egg yolk is crazy, but the addition of another yolk was all it took for round 2. Fries and garlic mayo for dinner - delicious.

Last night I had a little less time, because I had a party from 5-6pm. It was so much fun, y'all - my neighbor's Monday English class is four kids, about eight years old, and I went over to help her keep them entertained for the Christmas party. We sang a carol, we decorated a tree, we played pin-the-face on-the-Santa, and we played Twister. There were gifts, and the whole house is decked out for the holiday - it's great!

Speaking of which, I am a giant Scrooge McDuck this year. I'm not really sure why - I think it's about half laziness and half Japaniness, because even though there are secular Christmas trimmings everywhere here, having a tree in my house would really just emphasize the fact that there isn't any family nearby to enjoy it with, baby baby. You can't end a sentence with a preposition, but you CAN end a sentence with a PROposition. I was kind of worried about what I'd do with wrapped gifts since a pile with no tree seems kind of tacky, but so far we've received only cards and gift certificates and a certain Big Bertha which is already in use, so no problem there.

ANYWAY, I got my Christmassy fill next door, and there are five more parties this week that I'm helping with. When I got home last night I was just going to relax and play Wii Sports, but Bertha called to me from the kitchen: process! Process! What's a girl to do? I threw in a handful of sesame seeds and a little sesame oil and water, a couple cans of beans, fresh garlic, salt, pepper and vinegar, et voila: bean dip!

Wow. Just- wow.

Did you ever know there was a Christmas present coming, and know what store it was from and who sent it, and get really excited thinking what it could be? And then wait for it, and get more and more excited and hopeful, but not TOO hopeful because you didn't want to get let down? And did you ever then get the present and wonder whether to save it for Christmas, and then see that what it is was written RIGHT THERE ON THE BOX, PLAIN AS DAY? And that it was not only what you wanted, but the biggest, best version available, and more than you had hoped for?

Yeah. That happened!

HELLO FOOD PROCESSOR, HELLO WORLD! Anybody who knows me, knows who this is from. The rest of you click here.
image from amazon.com

Enviro Confession

Ah, the environment. You know how there are these bajillions of things we should all be doing to care for our planet, and reduce our impact? I do some of those things, more now than ever since I have so much free time. And since we live in Japan, where the garbage must be righteously sorted and taken out 5 days a week, and where electricity is EXPENSIVE. Alot of my choices are utterly selfish, motivated by our finances and health more than anything. It's amazing how often self-interest lines up with environmentalism.

And yet, there is so much more I could be doing for the Earth. So many modern conveniences I don't forgo, and shortcuts I can't help but take. I'll write another time about what I DO do, but here's the dirty laundry: the enviro-don'ts in my world.

1. Public transportation and biking. Yeah. I use the trains from time to time, but for running to base or a friend's house? It's the QE2 almost every time. And it's a gas guzzler.

2. Airmail. This is a BIG one now, for obvious reasons. But I'm sure there are things I could buy locally, like flour and pantry basics, which I buy at the commissary where everything is from the States. All it would take would be an hour at the grocery store with my very understanding neighbor, but the commissary is RIGHT THERE.

3. Water usage. Okay, this one is hard to admit. But I'm guilty not just of a long shower, but of turning on the hot water*, five minutes before I get in, to let the floor and the room warm up a bit. I KNOW! So bad.

4. Power hogging. Must...use...computer...all...day... Oh, and I think our giant TV and two video game consoles, and speakers, and etc. probably count here too.

5. Coffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee!! Yeah, we're both total addicts. And we don't buy organic or shade-grown. So thanks for the joe, (former) rainforests!

That's all I can think of at the moment. What are your environmental cheats, or little habits that you just don't want to break?

*When I wrote this, I typed "turning on the hot weather" without realizing my mistake. Paging Dr. Freud.

Guest Post! How to throw a cupcake and champagne party, by Kendall Ladd

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present my first guest blogger: Kendall! Remember my friend Kendall? She and her awesome husband had a cupcakes and champagne party at their swank pad in Our Nation's Capitol, and she agreed to tell the tale. Without further ado, here you have it. Bon appetit!

Emily suggested I write a guest post on her blog about my annual Cupcake and Champagne Party. So, since it would be weird to tell you a lot of information about people you don’t know, I will instead tell you how to throw your own C & C party.
Cupcake variety

The C & C party is successful because everyone likes cupcakes and getting a little toasted. Here are a few pointers to make it the best party possible:

1) First you need to learn how to saber a champagne bottle. This will be the entertainment at your party. I suggest YouTube for all kinds of instructional advice. We use a big kitchen knife instead of a saber.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFPrmgy7SmQ
Warning, my husband sabered a bottle with a plastic cork and it turned out like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ex3PBY1ivTo
2) Pick a party date when no one else has plans. Historically, the weekend before Thanksgiving works well.
3) Invite all your friends. Let them know they are required to bring cupcakes. They will be REALLY excited about this.That’s not ice cream. Those are the cupcakes of an over-achieving friend.

4) Buy food that is not sweet. When you see how many cupcakes end up at your party, you will wish you had invested lots of money in cheese and hummus.Kendall’s raspberry cupcakes and deviled eggs pre-party.

5) Make some cupcakes yourself. Buy lots of cheap champagne at Trader Joes. Sparkling wine comments are not tolerated.
6) Have the party at the same time as a major political event. Let’s say you live in Washington, DC next to a prominent hotel. Perhaps this hotel backs up to your apartment parking lot. Perhaps there is a G20 Summit on the financial crisis taking place and Chinese delegates are staying at said hotel when you start sabering champagne bottles in the parking lot. You could go down in history as the friends who threw a party where the SWAT team busted it up. Or not.
7) Eat some cupcakes- you could go so far as to judge a contest. I haven’t tried that yet. It could be fun.
8) Take pictures of your friend’s cupcakes! Especially if your friend is a museum registrar and constructs an elaborate cupcake transport device.The cupcake transport device (that’s the cooling center ring. You can’t see the toothpick support structure). I am not making that up.

I think that’s enough steps. Now that Emily knows how to throw a C & C party she should bring the concept to Japan.